Church Access for Disability for £600?

I'm not just autistic.  I'm also dyspraxic, and have arthritis and a spinal condition.  And I've had cancer which has left me with sensory loss and long term pain.  So I have to think about all sorts of disability accommodations.  Especially when visiting places with friends and family who are Blind, Deaf, hearing impaired, wheelchair users etc. I am not a formally approved Access Consultant, but I am the leading expert on autism access for churches in the country.  What I say here is a generalisation and a personal viewpoint from long experience of being faced with difficulties, not an Official Statement.   It is absolutely true that every single person needs access to everything.   But if we start from there, often the task looks so great that most give up.


About £600 and some planning will do it for 90% of disabled people. 


People tend to assume I'm making this up.  Or that I have no idea what I'm talking about.
But it's true.  Even the most rural, historic, inaccessible church can cover 90% of disability needs with a budget of  about £600.


People think of disability as being wheelchair users.  After all, that's the international symbol for disability. 
There's about 800,000 wheelchair users.  Yes, each person who uses a wheelchair for their freedom needs to be able to go to church etc.  Definitely.  I have many friends who are wheelchair users and I've felt their pain when they cannot access things.  Especially after a long and difficult start to the day to get ready for it.  Likewise, some churches are inaccessible for me as an autistic person and there's not a lot that we can do about it right now.  But we can do something in most buildings.


The Equality Act 2010 is a very fair law. It says that if a place really cannot afford to do something, it doesn't have to.  If you take good expert advice, and plan carefully, you will know what is doable in your budget.  And what isn't.


So, let's do the do-able instead.  What follows are just examples, not a definitive list.  It is to get you thinking.  There's definitely more that can be done for each group.  Ask the individuals what will help.   Find out who your Diocesan disability adviser is. A good access consultant can really help with thinking and planning.  Do your planning and write it down, carefully, with the wisdom of someone who knows about disability access.   


We have some 3 million with hearing impairment.  In a small church, a portable hearing loop costs £100 to £250.  Not perfect, but a start.  Make sure people can see your lips clearly when you talk. Talk to someone with hearing impairment in a quieter place if you can.




We have some 2 million with visual impairment.  Some safety hazard tape on steps and edges, and large print hymn books and Bibles will cost you £50 and will help many.  So will a bowl of water for guide dogs.  That'd cost nothing if you re-use a plastic tub.




We have around 1 million autistic individuals in the UK. who may struggle to see and hear in a noisy service.  If your church has a website or blog, put a plan of the building on it.  Or on the noticeboard. Tell us where a quiet corner is, or quiet room. Be clear about what will happen in your services - a couple of minutes of explanation.  Buy some standard lamps that don't use fluorescent bulbs, for any areas normally lit by fluorescent light. £20. (Some autistic people cannot cope with fluorescent lighting as it looks like a strobe light).  Buy a set of noise-cancelling headphones for those who struggle with noise levels. £30.  Read the top tips for autism in the Welcoming Those with Autism guide for churches (easy to 'google'). 
 


We have some 10 million with arthritis who might benefit from a chair with arms and a cushion. And anyone with co-ordination difficulties may appreciate a mug with a large handle  - rather than balancing a tea cup on a saucer.  Cost £100 as a starter.


We have over a million with learning disabilities who will appreciate extra explanation and an easier-read newsletter. Often local charities are pleased to help guide you on this.


Be aware that 10 million in the country struggle to read English beyond primary school level.  Be mindful about who you pick on in the church services to do a reading.  Perhaps read out instructions rather than assume everyone can read them.




Be aware of where the nearest usable loo is, even if it's not in your building.  Maybe set up an emergency loo-sharing agreement with a nearby house.




Be really welcoming and inclusive.  Disability inclusion isn't, "Letting the person sit in the pew and then go home". That's such a lonely experience.  It's about friendship, about love, about finding out what we can offer your church.   We're friends and colleagues, prayer partners and Bible Study leaders.  We have our own skills and abilities to bring to your church, and we don't want to be objects of pity or the 'scary person we let sit in the corner'.  We want to help, and to share, and to worship God alongside you.  Get to know us as people.  Often we can bring our own solutions with us.



None of the above has needed building works, grants, upheaval, 17 committee meetings, scary inspections or breaking open the Diocesan gin.  If that what was you were imagining...

It's not a definitive list.  You have to do your own list, for your own building and congregation.   But it's potentially just helped 90% of disabled people and those who struggle with reading.




Is there another benefit?  Yes.  Historic rural churches who are accessible in the ways shown above tend to grow by an average of 2 new people a year.  (Robust research over five years).




If there's bigger budgets, fantastic. Look at grants.  But don't let historic rural buildings and tiny budgets put you off.  

Like we read in the Bible, all are loved, all are welcome.  And all are your new friends.

Full Access Church

April 25th. 


Pleased to be a small part of #fullaccesschurch on Twitter..
Yesterday, I was asked to speak to a conference filled with world experts on autism diagnosis.  They asked me there as a fellow expert, to teach them about autism and women.  Effortless and wonderful.
The week before, I was asked to train the senior staff in a school.  Before that, NHS staff.  Before that, setting up national conferences for the Government All Party Parliamentary Group's Advisory Board, for which I am Vice Chair.
In my working life, I'm MD of a Professional Practice, invited to corporate events all over the UK.  None are the slightest trouble.

So why is it that when I ask to go to a church event or festival, 9 times out of 10 there is silence. 


Is it theology?  Are churches somehow thinking that God hates autistic people?  All one million of us in the UK?  That it doesn't matter if we are Christian or not?  That the promises made at our Baptism are null and void if we get a diagnosis - that promise of support and love for us as fellow Christians?


Is it myths?   That we lack empathy (no) or all have some behavioural condition that requires huge amounts of rugby-tackling or similar (goodness me no - that's no more likely than for anyone else on the planet).


We want to be your friend.  Our friendship and love is not tainted, not a trick.  It is there, along with our gifts, skills and abilities, whatever those might be.


We want to stand alongside you, in love and friendship, in our churches.   At our Christian festivals.  At weddings, baptisms, funerals, fetes, concerts, school productions....in all walks of life.


You are loved ....and we want to join in.  Find out more.  Google welcoming autism church and have a read.

#fullaccesschurch  Because we're good news.

Equality Act 2010 for Churches re Autism

A million autistic people in the UK.

As we know, it's a brain design, built for accuracy rather than instinctive people-skills, and we have to work hard to learn social rules.   Honest, caring and gentle folk who can bring much to every group we are part of.

Some 860,000 autistic people will go to church at some point during the year.  Maybe as a regular member of the congregation.  Maybe as the church leader.  Perhaps as the organist, or treasurer, or one of a hundred other roles.   Some will attend weddings, funerals and baptisms as guests.  Some will attend fetes and events at the church.
Every parish will have an average of 90 autistic people in their area.  Most may be very wary of announcing their presence.  Some may not realise they are autistic at all, of course.  Unfortunately, if there's a single one who is more 'lively', they will be the focus of attention rather than the 89 quiet individuals who get on with things unnoticed.  Well, mostly, the 89 others who try turning up to church, get really bewildered... or find they are facing sensory or social overload... and may retreat in dismay.
The Church of England has good resources for welcoming and including everyone on the autism spectrum.  

It is vital that every church leader, every youth group worker and every voluntary group leader has a good basic understanding of autism.  Every single group will encounter someone autistic at some stage.

There is nothing very complicated about including us.  Once people realise that our brains see and hear too much detail, and need time to process it all....and time to recover from the incoming information, it's easy to work out what will help.  It's also almost cost-free.

Many groups know that they need to include those with hearing impairment, for example by providing written materials, a hearing loop, perhaps a sign language interpreter.

With autism, there is the same requirement under the Equality Act 2010 to make sure we can access services and events, without a struggle and without embarrassment, or anger about us asking.

There is a legal duty for all leaders of groups to plan ahead.  Even if they aren't aware of anyone autistic in their group, they must have a cunning plan for accommodating disabled people.   Sometimes people get quite panicked about this, and wonder if it means they have to anticipate every single need of every single person in advance.  No.  But they do have to plan for the basic needs of the basic disabilities; wheelchair/mobility needs....hearing impairment needs....visual impairment needs....learning disability or reading difficulty needs....and autism needs.  Those are the 'big disabilities' that everyone should have as a basic list.
Knowing about other disabilities too is of course important, but it's reasonable to plan mostly for the most common ones. Then fill in the detail on the others when needed.

So...plan ahead.   With autism, think ahead to where a quiet room or space could be.  Check whether there are fluorescent lights at the venue and see if there's a venue that doesn't have them.  (They flicker and cause difficulties for lots of autistic people).  Check whether anyone is planning sudden loud noise as part of the event, and warn of this in advance.  If you know there's an autistic person attending, be prepared to give them advance info on venue, timings and that quiet room location.  Ask them what would help, and be prepared to give extra time for answers to that question. Some will appreciate you finding a 'social story' about going to church.  This is a picture guide to what will happen.   A basic one can be obtained and printed out, or customised to the service or event.   Help is available.  Some will prefer to answer in writing rather than in conversation.  Don't think this is some threat by 'putting things in writing'; it's just that some of us aren't good with using spoken language, and need thinking time.
Don't mock autistic people or our mannerisms, please.  Don't leave us 'till last or allow leaders to pretend they are too busy to help us.  Don't try to make us pay for disability-adapted materials we may need.  Any of that is illegal and leaders don't want to be doing it.  It's also something that makes autistic folk very sad; lots of us love being with other people and really want to learn about God and be part of our church communities.  Many are very lonely because of our difficulties with social skills, and appreciate a chance to be part of something so amazing.  It's a real sadness when we're met with a closed door and a "I'm too busy" email back.  We're not scary monsters. We're people like you, with interests and emotions and needs and talents.

Get good advice.  There's loads out there. The internet is awash with handy info.  You have the main guidelines at http://www.oxford.anglican.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/autism_guidelines.pdf as a starting point.
And enjoy.  Autistic people are honest, truthful, brilliant quirky friends, and each is someone loved and cared about by God.  Get to know us, and get to find out what gifts we can bring to your group and to God's presence.

Supporting Children on the Autism Spectrum

A perspective from an adult with autism, who has brought up a fab son with autism, and works as a national adviser on the subject.

Autism is a brain design difference that appears before birth, and stays with us for life.  Generalising in all I write here, our brains are built for being specialists on subject.  They’re ten times more accurate than those of others.   We’re very logical and honest, with a quirky but amazing sense of humour and strong loyalty.  We can see detail and pattern that you cannot see, and hear extraordinary detail from the world around us.  Autism has positives.

It also has negatives – because we’re living with a brain can’t filter stuff out properly, and can’t see people properly.  You know how Blind people are those who cannot see because not enough light can get to their brain in ways that make sense to it?  And Deaf people cannot hear, because not enough sound can get to the brain in ways that make sense to it?   Ours becomes ‘blinded and deafened’ by ordinary everyday things.  Why?  Because it takes in too much information at once.    Think of a restaurant. You can hear a conversation from your companion, yes?  We probably cannot.  We can hear every conversation in there, all at once.  It’s a wall of noise.   We can’t see body language properly, or face expressions.  Eye contact actually hurts most of us.

Sooner or later, our brain wiring overheats from all that input.  It becomes confusing, and painful, and scary.  We desperately need to avoid this.   If it does happen, we desperately need a really quiet place to let it cool down.

We also need really clear, short instructions from those around us.  We’re very literal, so if you tell us to ‘pull our socks up’, we’ll probably do just that.  Then we may wonder why you think we’re being rude.  If you tell us to do the work ‘on the table’, and we get on the table, we’ll be puzzled when you get angry.  It’s what you told us to do.    Many of us are visual thinkers, not word-thinkers.  Pictures may really help.  Do ask.

We also struggle to hear your voice tone.  If you say “I didn’t say you could eat that cake” or “I didn’t say you could eat that cake”, both things may sound just the same to us.   Emphasising particular words is not handy.   Say what you mean by using a different sentence instead.

Because we are trying so hard to avoid brain wiring overload and the pain that goes with it, we need advance info.  We’re trying to calculate social interaction overload....and sensory overload.  Are there going to be crowds of people all wanting us to hear them ....all wanting us to do eye contact (which hurts us), etc?    Are there flickering fluorescent lights overhead that seem like a strobe light to us?  What about massive background noise that others can filter out?  You can’t see or hear what we can see and hear.   Same with overwhelming smells in a room, or rough textures.   Things can also be fascinating for us that you would find totally boring, because of our sensory differences and our extreme specialisations and interests.   And we cannot see if you are happy or angry or bored.  You have to say.

So it’s different, working with us.  Different can be very good.  But so often people think we’re just being rude.  We’re not.   We’re trying to be friends with you, but in a world that is so overwhelming at times.  Our accuracy and sensory skills can be a great advantage for many things, given a chance.

Be patient.  Ask what helps.  Chat to us in short clear sentences. Sit alongside us, not opposite us.  Give us a chance to think about our answers, or use pictures to communicate with us.   Make chat about something factual, not about our emotions, or random ‘small talk’.  We may find random conversation very scary.  Think about tone of voice – we may miss sarcasm or jokes.  Be aware of sensory needs and find a quiet space for us to escape to if we need it.  Say what you mean, and build that trust for us.  Be accurate on timescales you give us, too; we’ll panic if you say, “I’ll be back in five minutes”, and you take seven.  Or ten.  Or twenty.  Instead, learn to say, “I will be back soon –between five minutes and half an hour.”  Be aware that we can find unexpected touch to be like an electric shock, so always ask and wait and be gentle and careful with a reassuring hand on a shoulder, etc.

It’s little things that make a huge difference for us.  Autism is a wonderful and amazing thing to have, but it’s very specialised.  Work with us in a way we can handle, and it’s always worth it.

Autism - High versus Low? Gee, no.

Extraordinary ideas happened before we understood more about autism.  One of the biggest ideas was that we could all fit into two neat sorts of autism; high functioning, and low functioning.  Depending on whether we could say some sentences and pass a standard IQ test, more or less.

We then had Autism Wars, with some people clamouring to tell us that their child was Low Functioning and therefore nothing like autistic adults who can talk.  Those adults must be High Functioning, since they had speech, they said.  Lots of people got hurt in those debates.  We still see some happening.  It's as strange as dividing the Deaf community into 'high functioning Deaf' with a normal IQ, or 'low functioning Deaf' with a lower IQ, and declaring these are different forms of Deafness.  Clearly not.

What I say here is a generalisation, since we’re all a bit different.  We know from the brain science that autism is about our brains being differently connected/working in different ways.  

Lots of the ‘low functioning’ people got really offended at being described like that.  Well, would you like being called ‘low functioning’?  The mistake was to think that they could not understand what was being said.  Most can.  Everyone is a person, to be valued for being themselves.

We also know that most of the ‘high functioning’ adults have profound difficulties with some areas of life.  We know that despite ‘being able to talk’ (perhaps, for some, about our specialised interests…some of the time), many are without good employment and have almost no good friends.  

Most struggle to build relationships with non-autistic people, and struggle to access human rights.  

Most struggle to access noisy/busy sensory-overloading buildings, so often cannot access healthcare, supermarkets and other essentials for daily living.  

Most struggle with access to education, with access to transport.  

Many are at great risk of bad outcomes from bullying and violence, from fraud and lies.  

We know that so many end up taking their own lives because of the relentless exhaustion and struggle that they are forced to endure.

Almost every part of this is avoidable or capable of being lessened, if society understood autism better and enabled autistic people to thrive.

So much for ‘high functioning’. 

 I couldn't use spoken words to communicate socially with others for the first ten years of my life.  I am sometimes still non-speaking.  I may struggle to cook a simple meal, some days.  Yet I can run a company - with a fabulous team who understand autism well.  Am I 'low functioning'?  Am I 'high functioning'?  I'm just one person.  It varies.

Most people aren't high or low functioning.  They're somewhere in the middle.  That's how life is.

So, less of the misleading labels please.  None of us are ‘low functioning’.  None of us are ‘high functioning’ either.  All of us have areas of life in which we may struggle.   Some have an additional learning disability or other disabilities that make life super-challenging in society.  (I do.  I'm also faceblind, have arthritis, am recovering from cancer treatment.... etc).  Of course it’s more challenging if anyone, anywhere, has lots of disabilities at once

Let’s work together to describe each person’s support, sensory and social needs accurately, and get the right support to them and those around them.  That’s the right result.

____________________________

The picture at the top shows a large number of pebbles of different shapes and colours.  For me, it represents autistic people.  Each one different.  All autistic.  And impossible to divide into just two categories.

Disability is a Moral Issue

I was told earlier this week that disability isn’t a main moral issue for the Church of England.  And that's why it’s not included in the big faith debates about diversity and the future of the church.

I’m going to disagree. 

I’ve worked for, and with, the Church of England for a very long time.  I’m the author of the main guidelines for autism for it.  I’m the co-author of the national domestic abuse policy for the church as well. I also work nationally and internationally with many faith leaders.   I’ve worked through moral issues around disability for a good few decades.  I’m autistic, faceblind, have arthritis and a spinal scoliosis, somewhat dyspraxic, have had crippling anxiety and periods of depression caused by life’s circumstances...and have had an interesting time with breast cancer.  Most of my friends and family are disabled.  It has been my honour to work with hundreds of fantastic disabled and non-disabled people, especially in churches and faith communities everywhere.  So I’ve a fair understanding of the issues.  I don’t pretend to speak for anyone but myself, but I can say what I’ve seen, heard, felt and been told over the years.

I'll start by saying there are many fantastic faith leaders and faith communities.  Caring, loving, gentle, generous places.  My own local church is one such.

I’ll also say this with confidence:  A good few Christians tend to force disabled people into one of many artificial and often-horrific roles.  I’ve been put into each of these by some Christians.

As sinner who is being punished by God, and therefore deserves their disability.

As a person who is lacking in faith.  After all, “If you had enough faith, you’d be cured, wouldn’t you...”.  And if they lack faith, they'd better leave the church before their faithlessness contaminates others...

As a person who must trust God and therefore does not need pills, potions, surgery etc.  How many have been made very ill by this kind of thinking?

As a person who is beset by evil spirits who need to be driven out of them by exorcism or ritual.    One group sat on the child to drive out the demons.  They died.  Yes, a Christian group did that.  Here in this country, yes.

As a person to whom God has given the special privilege of suffering for others.  Suffering is seen by some as an especially good thing, to be encouraged and prolonged  - a sort of sacrifice on behalf of others.  Especially good to suffer a lot in the lead-up to death, apparently.  Hmm.  I think not.

In the case of autism or learning disability, quite often the person is seen as ‘an angel’, a special virginal character who is some sort of spirit child, not a real person with wants and needs.  A person to be kept ‘on a pedestal’ and not allowed a life of their own.

As a burden on the church; someone unable to be of any good use to them, who is just a cost to their time and money.  Eyes roll at the very thought that they would be allowed in.

As a danger to the congregation; someone who may act in ways too dangerous to include them.  (Disabled people are no more likely to be dangerous than anyone else, in fact).

As easy targets for bullying and abuse by some.  We’re only just bringing some of the cases into the light.  They do not make for easy reading.

Against this patchy backdrop of theological drought and moral bankruptcy,  a few of the debates:   Pregnant with a baby who has a disability and will suffer intense pain and hasty death?  Some Christians want the parents to consider the unborn baby’s soul, or be told they are murderers.

Want to get married as someone with a learning disability?  Some Christians want to be able to say whether that can happen in a church or not.  ‘People like them can’t have sex, surely!  Yuk!” (to quote something I heard).

Want to get Confirmed, and you are autistic or have a learning disability?  Some Christians want to have a say in whether you can understand God well enough, or whether they can turn you away at the door.

LGBTI issues?  30% of autistic people self-identify as part of that group.   That’s about 300,000 in the country.  We’re not talking about one or two people.  How’s that for a big impact on the debate around LGBTI and the church.  Oh wait, we’re not allowed to contribute to most of it, because...autistic.

These are moral and ethical issues.  These are huge, profound issues.  Not least for the millions of disabled people who are routinely and thoughtlessly excluded from church.  14% of the population are disabled.   Not people in care homes; people right there as your next door neighbours.  People who want to attend weddings and funerals alongside others.  People who want to be at the church fete and the concert.  People who want to be friends and colleagues, workers and volunteers.  People who want to be Priests and leaders.

What is our response as a church?   Not even half of our churches have a simple hearing loop to allow those with hearing aids to join in, for example.   Big print hymn book?  Not even half have that.  It costs a tenner.  What’s going on here?  That's not 'too expensive', that sort of thing.  It's not that.

Jesus spent his whole Ministry around, and with, disabled people.  Arguably he had at least one disabled follower whom he never cured.  He was so respectful of them.

We know that disabled people offer amazing diversity of talent, love, prayer, friendship, finance, gifts – in fact all the very same things that all people offer to a church.   We know that many have insights and experiences that add hugely to our understanding of God and of our faith.  We know that in Jesus’s parable about the man who invited the rich to his banquet and found they didn’t want to go... the people were told to go and get the disabled folk off the streets and give them a full banquet instead.  Not a crust of bread bounced off their forehead as they stand outside in the  street.   Invited in to the full banquet. 

Where is our full banquet for disabled folk right now?  It’s certainly in some of our churches.  But what of the others?  

Is it enough to say, “Disability is not a main moral issue” and to remove it from current discussions around diversity or the future of the church?  I do not believe that it is.  It is certainly true that very few disabled people are allowed to serve God.  And those who wear the vestments of Priesthood wield extraordinary power over who gets through those church doors.  One doesn’t have to sit in a pew, alone in that aisle, ignored by the congregation and the Vicar, for long ...before understanding that ‘All are welcome’ is a very hollow promise indeed in some of our churches.  Many are fabulous, of course.  Don’t get me wrong – I am honoured to have many wonderful Priests as good friends.  But there are others who patrol their church gates like guards who see us as the enemy of God.  It's soul-destroying stuff.  Quite literally.

So how we do create that listening, welcoming, learning environment we need – in our theological colleges, in our congregations, in our home groups and our outreach?

We are not caricatures of people, nor symbols of something broken.  We are real, living, breathing, laughing, joking, loving, caring friends, who live with a disability. 

It’s not enough for anyone to say that we don’t belong at the table, with that same full banquet.

Disability is a moral issue.   Let’s start talking about it more.

Vulnerable Adults: Offering the love of God in safety? Or nervous claim-avoiding?

As a church, we are called to be Good News to all.  On that I think we all agree.  Bringing the love of Jesus within closer reach of each and every person.

Our Priests and teams serve their congregations with great care and faithfulness throughout the country.   Most do a truly excellent job, with limited resources and great effort.

We have polices on safeguarding, for example https://www.churchofengland.org/media/37405/promotingasafechurch.pdf

Here’s some extracts from it, about how to treat a Vulnerable adult.

“Helping in such a way as to maximize a person’s independence. People with additional needs can and do lead active and fulfilled lives but some may need support and resources to do so.

Always respecting the person and all their abilities. 

 Recognizing the choices people make even if they may appear risky.

 Giving people the highest level of privacy and confidentiality possible in the circumstances.

 Including everyone in decisions affecting their life.

 Creating an environment within the Church that can include everyone.”

 All good.

And now the not always so good. This for ordinary everyday meetings – not ones where someone has alleged abuse etc:

“Church workers should be aware of their language and behaviour. For example, innuendoes or compliments of a sexual nature are always inappropriate.

The place of the meeting, arrangement of the furniture and lighting, the  worker’s dress;
The balance of privacy for conversation with the opportunity for supervision  via open doors or windows in doors, another person nearby;
The physical distance between people determined by hospitality and respect, being aware that someone may have suffered abuse or harassment in the past;
Whether the circumstances suggest a professional or social interaction;
The propriety or danger of visiting or being visited alone, especially in the evening;
The personal safety and comfort of all participants;
Establishing at the outset the nature of the interview in respect to subject matter, confidentiality and duration;
The appropriateness of initiating or receiving any physical contact, for example gestures of comfort, which may be unwanted or misinterpreted.”

 Now if you’re a church worker, that might all sounds like a sensible plan.  After all, we don’t want any court cases, do we.

If you’re a Vulnerable adult, encountering this sort of , ‘I’m afraid to be ordinarily jokey with you like I am with everyone else; I need to make sure others have line of sight of us in case you  allege something’, guidance, it is horrible beyond words.    Trust me, it is.

 Absolutely no-one wants their church team members to be afraid of dealing with them.  To be wary of saying or doing normal everyday things.  To be reluctant to put out the safe and consensual hand of comfort on a shoulder that they would offer to anyone else.  To be talking about nothing more challenging than the state of the weather with you or the vague location of the last family holiday, in case the conversation is deemed too risky or too personal.  

How would you like to be singled out to have to talk about confidential matters in front of an audience, so the church worker can have witnesses?  Would you feel valued, or like a criminal?

I’ve had all of this in the past.  And actually it’s not OK at all.  I don’t want to be in a church that treats me as a walking court case waiting to happen.  I don’t want that for anyone else either.  Very blessed with many clergy friends who know how to be ordinary everyday friends.  Real good news.

AND behaving in overly formal ways does not stop one single actual predator from targeting even one vulnerable adult.  They don’t take any notice of the rules anyway.  They know every way round that. 

So, what is it we are trying to say to those who are every bit as loved by God as the others in church?  What message are we bringing to those who place their trust in our teams? 

Being watchful for predatory behaviour and able to act to help prevent it  – absolutely.

Not groping, or making rude sexual remarks to someone to embarrass them in some nasty way?  I agree.  But... what of when they are equal cheery partners in the most gentle of  ‘carry-on film’ style joke and are used to thinking of the other person as a friend, not as some formal Assessor of Their Christian Behaviour? 

Talking to us in Formal Vicar Voice about Appropriate Topics with an appropriate number of witnesses?  No thank you.  Jesus wouldn’t have done that.  I don’t want church leaders doing it either.  It’s not appropriate at all.  It's just demeaning for us.

Jesus wasn’t just talking to clergy when he said that he called us all his friends.  He meant adults who may be Vulnerable,  too.  So, be kind friends. No-one should pretend to offer caring, when all they’re offering in reality is minimisation of risk to themselves.

There’s a fine and important difference between those two things.  Think really carefully about which it is you want to demonstrate to those who may be Vulnerable.  Because we who are those Vulnerable Adults can tell the difference.  Honest we can.  And there’s no need for us to be in a church to receive formalised court-approved behaviours from those in charge.    That’s not what our faith is about.  It never was.

Do I want to make it easy for predators?  No, of course not.  Let me be quite clear on that.  I've spent a lifetime working very hard indeed to help very vulnerable people stay safe.

But turning all of our church friends into people often too scared to be with us does not make our lives safer.  It often leaves us more alone and more vulnerable than before. 

I hope that is understood.