Autism, Christianity, LGBTQ. Why it's important. Safeguarding. Caring.

There are different beliefs about God and what he thinks of LGBT+ people.  

In the Church of England, it's still a difficult subject for some, though recent research shows that the number who are e.g. against equal marriage has dropped a lot in recent years. (British Religion in Numbers website).

There are huge differences in the answers given by people of different ages. The chart below is from research on attitudes to equal marriage done by Jayne Ozanne's group in 2016.

It shows that below age 34, most CofE people are fine with equal marriage.  But over age 55, a majority are not.  That opposition from the over 55s is dropping, too.  But, of course, in many churches, most people are over age 55.  And most powerful people in churches are over age 55.  So we have a church where it's been difficult and sometimes dangerous to be openly gay in some places, for example. Where it's been acceptable to be called all sorts of unpleasant things, and told to Just Forgive.

What we do know is that when people get to know e.g. a gay or lesbian married couple, living ordinary lives, doing ordinary things like everyone else, as neighbours, work colleagues and friends, they usually can't remember what they were objecting to.

I am one of many people communicating for and with the autistic population.  About 3 in every 100 people are autistic.  About 2 million in the UK, on the best and most recent workings-out e.g. the count of all school age children in Northern Ireland, for example.

And at least 3 out of every 10 autistic people are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, queer, asexual, intersex, etc.  In other words, part of the LGBTQ population.  The figure for autistic females is higher, at around half.  So, that's about 600,000 autistic people who are part of the LGBT+ communities, in the UK.

Yes, perhaps half the autistic women in the country are part of the LGBTQ population.  

Autistic people are as likely to be Christians as anyone else.  As likely to be churchgoers, church leaders, musicians, organists, treasurers, youth workers.  No, I'm not joking.  We made it so awful for people, when they disclose they're autistic, that we forced people into hiding.

Now, we have a genuine bit of thinking to do here, as a church.  Why?  Because we know that autistic people are often a vulnerable population, with a suicide rate nine times higher than others.  Dying on average at age 54 after a lifetime of difficulties caused by society.  So many are homeless, having been denied jobs as well.  We know that they are routinely targeted for bullying, ostracism, fraud and every other form of crime. We know that the rates of targeting for sexual assault are sky high, to use a phrase.  3 out of every 10 autistic women are victims of rape, for example.  Some 6 out of 10 are likely to be diagnosable as having trauma conditions, after what's happened to them. 

These aren't 'angry activists' and 'dangerous/toxic people', storming the gates of your church.   Many are understandably fearful of the people around them, for really good reasons.   Most are communicating using a different body language and spoken language method to you, which so often leads to misunderstandings between the two cultures (autistic and non-autistic).  Such good research out in these last couple of years on this.  Try http://annsautism.blogspot.com/2019/01/autism-some-vital-research-links.html for the links.

If e.g. half of autistic women are part of the LGBTQ communities, struggling to survive, what is our response to those tens of thousands in our parishes?  Is our response to lock the church door in their faces, or bring them in for a good bit of condemnation? Or leave them for the nearest predator in the church to prey on?  To throw a medicalised phrase their way, or perhaps put a fiver in the collection box for some autism charity and hope God approves?

 And is that what God asked us to do? 

Or is that bread and wine for all who want to follow Jesus?  In love?  Is that safe fold, watched by the Good Shepherd, only for some of the flock, or for all who yearn to follow Him?

If wanting a safe church for autistic people leads people to see me as a warrior, that's OK.   But it's not war I bring.  It's fellowship.  And maybe that's the thing some fear the most....because to make our churches a place where all belong takes acknowledgement of fear-of-difference, and that's a hard thing to do.

We are commanded to see everyone as being made in the image of God.

Leave no-one unloved.

Thank you for reading, from this autistic member of the LGBTQ community, who follows Jesus, and always will.  

What do I mean by "We're OK being Autistic" ? #TakeTheMaskOff

I'm OK being autistic.

Just saying that is controversial.  There are all sorts of responses, when autistic people say that.  For example, "What about people who are really suffering?  Are you some kind of autism supremacist who doesn't care about Real Autistic People who are Really Suffering?"

So, it's important to explain what I mean when I say, "I'm OK being autistic".

For a start, I'm autistic.  Readers of this blog (and my continued thanks to the 40,000+ of you) will know that I was not able to use spoken words to communicate, for years.  That I would rock and flap, lining things up, practising the same thing over...and over...and over...and over.   That I couldn't build friendships.  That being under fluorescent lighting even as a child had me running at top speed from it, blinded, crashing into people and things.  That trying to access a simple event like a dance class or a school play or party would leave me shaking with fear and hiding under whatever I could hide under, to escape from the sensory hell.  And I have an autistic son.  And partner.  And friends.  And other family.  And colleagues.

I'm autistic now. Always will be. But thanks to a lifetime of being told that I must disguise the pain, at all costs, I learned to mask.  To put on a false front, be the person that others wanted me to be.  Smile when in pain.  Be really nice when in pain and remember every one of my manners, even if non-autistic people can get away with being angry or snappy sometimes.  We're not allowed that.  Cope when in pain.  Not Be Me.  Never, ever be me.  Never.  If I was the real me, I would experience hatred from others, more isolation, more loneliness, more condemnation, more false accusation (because of ignorance of autistic culture and communication).  All whilst trying to work and care for family members.

And, do you know what happened?  It broke me.  It took a lot to 'put myself back together again', and now I work differently.  Because no-one ever, ever wants to experience being pressured until they collapse from it.

I look around at my fantastic autistic family, friends, colleagues.   The ones who have done the best masking, the best disguising?  Broken.  Or sitting amongst a trail of debris from broken relationships, broken job situations, broken health.  I look at the research showing the suicide rates, the average age of death (54).  Not from some genetic malfunction.  From relentless pressure, relentless humiliation and pain.  Anyone would die early from that.  We need less focus on pleasing shareholders with news about 'genetic cures', and more listening to autistic people.  Sorry, people hoping to make a huge profit out of drugging us or manipulating our autistic genetics.  What about giving us adapted lighting instead, or jobs based on experience not interview?  No money in that for you?  That's a shame, isn't it.

We need more realising that actually we don't need to be in that level of pain.  

How much of that pain and exhaustion is because society makes life hell? I know that many of my most 'routine-based' difficulties stopped when I realised I was in sensory pain.  I had no idea that I was in pain all the time, because it was 'all the time'...so I thought it was normal.  I just thought everyone was encountering the world like me, and I was just getting exhausted and stressed and panicked for no reason.  Once I adapted my life more, much of that pain stopped.  Much of the resulting stress stopped.  One example, yes - but a useful one.

There is a myth that if we disguise being autistic, it'll all go away. The future will be lovely.  All will be well.  A myth that autism was some sort of behavioural choice by us to annoy people around us, so if we stop the behaviour, we've 'cured' the autism, we've given autistic people their lives back.  Rhubarb, to use an apt word.

It's a myth.  There is no perfect future from having to pretend we're not ourselves.  Only the extra hell of having to mask each day.  

So...

I'm OK being autistic.

I'm OK with you being autistic.

And, like so many other people, I campaign for a world where autistic people are not expected to be in pain all the time. 

Where we can acknowledge and accept that we process things differently, and build a world together where everyone benefits.  

Where buildings are better for everyone (and also helps autistic people).  Where shopping is better for everyone (and also helps autistic people). 

Where schools are no longer an endurance course of pain and fear (which will help everyone, and especially us).  

Where transport is accessible. (And hurrah that in the UK, autistic people learned today that we'll be able to apply for disability parking badges.  I was one of the people who campaigned for that too, so that e.g. families struggling with an autistic child, in traffic, can park closer to places and have less risk of death or injury).

I campaign with others for a world where families are properly supported, where accommodation is given to people which doesn't cause sensory hell.   Where people are enabled to work, enabled to access healthcare and education, enabled to access and contribute to the whole of society, faith, culture and learning.  

We have so much to offer.

So, lovely readers, that's the sort of things I mean, when I say, "I'm OK being autistic".

And, if you are serious about making a difference to the lives of autistic people, you'll want that for us too.

Look for the hashtag #TakeTheMaskOff on Twitter for more information.  Find out more from as many #ActuallyAutistic people as you can.  All sorts of us.  Whether using spoken language or not.

Thank you for reading.

Let's look at why "Autism is the most expensive disability" is untrue.

Updated Oct 20

Are you in charge of paying for autism care services?   Staring forlornly into your budgets, wondering how to pay for the costs?  Read on.  You may save yourself £millions.

I want the best possible lives for all autistic people, and their equally lovely families....and I'm concerned about some of the things I'm seeing out there. 

First, let's start with the realities. 

There's around 2 million autistic people in the UK.  You'll hear it's less than that, but the research shows very clearly indeed that it's about 2 million.  There always have been about 3% autistic people.  We became more 'visible' when society got louder, busier, more demanding, more chaotic.  The Royal College of Psychiatrists writes,  "It is recognised now that most autistic people are adult, do not have an intellectual disability and are likely to be undiagnosed."

https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/improving-care/campaigning-for-better-mental-health-policy/college-reports/2020-college-reports/cr228

Less than 2% of autistic people are in expensive care homes.  I checked. 

The figures you read about the 'cost' of autism usually assume that nearly all of us do not earn money.  So read those with a cynical eye, please.  Autistic led businesses and enterprises pay £millions a year into the economy.  None of that is factored in.  Only the worst examples are factored in.   Odd, isn't it.  Lots of autistic people go on to do similar highly specialised work.  If people will bloomin' well let them.  Some cannot, and of course there need to be good services and support for people who cannot work.  No problem with acknowledging that at all.  And it is certainly true that some parents/carers have to stay at home to look after some autistic people, which means they can't work either.  Again, we need good support around that.  Is that nearly 100% of autistic people and their families?  No.  It isn't.  At all.  Nowhere near.

Let's have a look at the realities:

A good half of autistic people in international surveys (Germany, USA) are in full time paid employment.  You'll read that only 16% are in full time jobs in the UK. Odd, isn't it. Why would autism in the UK be more of an employment 'no', compared to other countries?  An online informal survey of nearly 300 people here shows that 27% were employed full time, 24% part time - and the survey didn't ask about self-employment.  So we can assume that the actual figure is higher.  Ancedotally from 30 years in the Professions, the amount of autistic lawyers, surveyors, accountants, engineers, specialised niche trades, Doctors, Psychiatrists, etc is substantial.  We get a lot approaching us, quietly, after training, to say, "You are the only person I've told".  They're not filling in the charity surveys on employment.  They're hiding, afraid they'll lose their job if they disclose.  We have a lot of autistic people in employment.  Some say that it's better to assume it's a really low figure.  I believe the low figure is inaccurate, and plays into the hands of those who wish to see us as a burden that needs engineering out of the genetic future.  If the Psychiatry paper says we've not found many of the autistic adults, how can we possibly know what they earn, or what they cost?

The figures about 'cost' assume that the 16% full time employment figure is right, and assumes that most of the rest of the autistic population do nothing all day.  Being clear that my view is every autistic person is a person of full worth.  I'll certainly admit that most of us are under-employed, because employers won't hire us, or make it impossible for us to be hired.  That's not an 'autism cost'.  That's the cost of employers not being given basic info on autism, or being appallingly prejudiced.  That's the cost of buildings being fitted with enough noise and lighting hell to stop us working.  That's cheap to fix.

What are most autistic people doing all day?  Examples from the surveys (big numbers surveyed, not just a few mates)

Working.
Looking after their families
Doing voluntary work
Supporting one another online
Campaigning for a better and more fair world.
Crafts, arts, music.  A hundred other useful things for society that we don't translate into cash.
Adding to society, in other words.

Is autism a disability that need curing at all costs?  No, it's a permanent brain design difference, bringing strengths as well as challenges caused by a busy noisy social society.

Our brains generally do take in a huge amount of info, compared to other brains.  This can be a good thing, not just a bad thing.

Do most autistic people want a cure?  No, survey after survey shows that most do not want a cure.  Most are happy being autistic.  They would like lives that are adapted so that they cope with the noise and chaos of the surrounding world in better ways. Society insists on making education, healthcare etc into a sensory hell, and we have to navigate it.  Headphones, sunglasses, different clothing, etc can make a big difference.  That's really cheap to achieve for a lot of us, with a small budget from a provider.  Hold that thought....that it's really cheap to achieve for a lot of us ....because it is.  If you know what you're doing.  If you ask the autistic person what helps, after having autism training from autistic people, so you know your subject.  If someone really wants a cure for autism (rather than the pain they're put in by others), fair enough.

So, autism costs society all that money, does it? 

I'll challenge that further.

Look around you right now.  How much technology can you see in your house or office?  Autistic people designed much of that, came up with the ideas for much of it.  Look at the famous art prints on your walls.  Some by autistic artists.  Listening to music?  Some is by autistic musicians.  Driving home in a vehicle, designed and built by autistic people, over a bridge designed by autistic engineers?  You bet that bridge works.  We may have built it.

Your infrastructure relies on autistic people, all day, every day.  Society makes trillions out of autistic minds.  Capable, determined, passionately focused, fair, honest minds of the sort that fill the professional practices across the country.  Autistic lawyers, surveyors, bankers, accountants, doctors, scientists.  Getting it right.  Challenging nonsense.  Stopping salespeople from selling 'snake-oil' to people.

And, every single autistic person -whether able to work or not - whether in a care home because of profound multiple needs or not - is a person of value, a person whose life needs to be free of pain and fear.  A person whose life needs to be honoured and enabled.  

Each family is a family that deserves good support, good time to themselves away from caring responsibilities.  I want to be clear about this, because it's too easy for some to say, "Oh those autistic adults have no idea what being a parent is like".  I'm a parent.  Of an autistic son.  Yes, I do.  No, he wasn't 'mild', and still isn't.  He's fantastic.  Also, an autism consultant, and changing the lives of so many autistic families across the UK.

But, someone realised there was a way to say that there is Big Money in 'fixing' us so we're not autistic any more.  And Big Business likes Big Money. 

So, the myths started.  About cost, about danger, about tragedy.  Who wouldn't pay a fortune to fix a tragedy?  We all like giving to charity, eh?  Fixing those poor children?    It's a fault, a deficit, something's gone 'wrong', you'll be told.  Except it generally isn't, any more than being gay is a fault and a deficit and an opportunity to cure.  Groups tried that, too.  Remember that being gay was in the mental health books, and people made a fortune out of 'gay cure therapies'.  Now those are being banned after the gay people said how much damage those therapies did. Guess what some autism 'therapies' are based on?  Same techniques.  But now too often used on people who can't say that it hurts, or aren't believed when they say it hurts.  

Because autism itself isn't a cost, danger or tragedy, it was important to only showcase people who also had severe learning disabilities, couldn't talk, and displayed extremely problematic behaviours sometimes (actually, mostly extreme distress...).  These were carefully called 'real autistic people'.  And anyone like me who learned to talk was called a liar. Because, in this myth, autistic people who can talk aren't autistic, you see.

Parents were fed this nonsense and (in some cases) actively encouraged to block autistic people from speaking to the other parents.  That way, the cure industry had 100% control of the message, and 100% control of the parents.  

If you are a parent, don't believe the hype about "hand us all your money or your child will be autistic forever".  Yes, they will. Whether you hand over money or not.  Instead, if you must hand over money, ensure that actual autistic specialists receive it.  Or our allies.  People who understand how to actually help your child, because we were once pretty much the same as your child. And we have spent decades in this trade, learning things that help.

Autistic people are not lab rats who exist so that shareholders can make money.

We're people.  Glorious, wonderful people.  

Get to meet us as friends instead.

Thank you for listening. 

How to Consider Disability and Autism: A Primer for CofE Church Leaders

The Archbishop of Canterbury and daughters Katharine and Ellie took part in a BBC broadcast recently. The transcript is at this link and, at the bottom, it links to the audio version.   Hugely pleased in particular to hear Ellie's perspectives on dyspraxia, adding to the powerful voices of Katharine and the Archbishop. On July 13th 2018, there was a disability conference for representatives of the Church of England.

All of this is good news.  I'm blessed with senior figures in the country who are inclusive and enabling. But, how should we think about disability, and indeed about autism and other neurodiversities, in our churches?  Neurodiversities = brains that function in a different way from those of others, e.g. autistic, dyspraxic, dyslexic.
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To begin to talk about disability, people need to understand a little about the different ways of thinking.  The "models" of disability.  I'll use my own terms for some of them and a brief idea of what they're about.  I've encountered each in some of our churches.  Note the word 'some', before anyone gets overexcited and thinks I'm generalising about the whole church.  I'm not.  Ready?  Here we go...

Medical Model:  "You are ill.  Our Doctors will fix you.  Therefore, not the problem of anyone but you and your Doc.  Or you might die. We'll pray, and take your funeral.  Job done".

All Your Fault Model: [As I call it].  "You are ill or disabled or neurodivergent?   It's your fault.  If you made better choices, or more effort, you wouldn't be ill/would be able to overcome the obstacles in the way of participating.  Go away."  Arguably, this model explains what we see with the benefits system at the moment, with some people who are desperately ill told to have a 'better attitude' and denied money until they starve, (in case that helps them to have a better attitude to overcoming those obstacles).  In reality, some just die, and the rest suffer.  It's not clever.

Cruel Faith Model:  "God made you ill.  Maybe you did something to offend him.  If you had more faith, he'd have cured you.  Nothing to do with us, guv.  We shall shun you until you improve your faith."

Sainthood Model: "God made you ill because he wanted you to show how saintly you are by suffering.  The suffering is a journey of enlightenment for you.  You will be a special Angel, lucky you.  We'd better let you get on with that Holy Suffering, eh?"

Charity Model:  "We will use your disability as a way to show others how wonderful we are as Christians, caring for you. You may smile in photographs. We might let you attempt something, then agree that it was noble of you to try ...then ignore it and get a non-disabled person to say whatever you just said."  Various people are given awards for helping us to get perfectly ordinary things, often without even asking us if that's what we wanted.  If we also help other people, we're definitely not given proper awards, as of course we're objects of charity, not stalwarts of the community...

Cheering Social Model:  We are one community, and as a community, we decide how we build and run things and what we spend money on to make them accessible. So we'll build and run something that enables as many as possible.   We accept that some people need good support, but we acknowledge that they also bring gifts, learning experiences, skills.  We decide who we include and who we exclude, so we'll talk with disabled people as our equals and partners, and see how we can include one another.  We decide who we empower and who we disempower, so we think wisely about a need for empowering different groups.  We know sometimes people may bully and ostracise, blame and ignore. So we as strong leaders make it clear that bullying and nastiness towards disabled people is not OK.  We model love and respect.  We choose to care for one another as equals.  Disabled & neurodivergent people have much to offer, and are loved children of God, and we believe that, together, we are the One Body of Christ, each and every part as vital.

It's not a full list.  It's certainly not an academic list either.  But it's a starting point for discussion.

If your loved one was involved in a car crash which left them with life-changing injuries, which of the above models would you like a church to follow, for them?

As a church, we have a brilliant example in Jesus.  
He spent much of his ministry with disabled people.
Nearly every time, we read of him asking them what they wanted, and working collaboratively with them.
When the man on the stretcher couldn't reach Jesus, they broke the building to get him to hear Jesus.  There was no-one saying, "We can't do that to our historic structure".  Jesus didn't say, "Leave him outside until he figures out a way to get in by himself." 

When Jesus's autistic friend Nicodemus had a question, Jesus took time to listen and help.  And, Nicodemus was still autistic at the very end, at the tomb, staggering up the hill with a socially-inappropriate amount of herbs and spices. Not 'cured'.  I've blogged on it.  
When Jesus was seen after the crucifixion, he still had the wounds from it.  He wasn't made perfect.  He was still displaying injury, in his risen form.

We've missed so much by some people in some churches marginalising disabled people.  By assuming that it's 'nothing to do with us, guv'.  By expecting that 'people-like-that' are a nuisance, a danger, a threat, a drain on resources, a bother, a way to get awards for other people.  We've missed out on friendship. On love.  On shared journeying.  On that of God that is disabled, injured, neurodiverse.  I'll make it clear that some churches and some people are fabulous.  We can see good things happening.

So, if you are part of a conversation about disabled or neurodivergent people - who is in that room with you?

Remember what Jesus said about the banquet and who was invited?  Disabled people.  

Honest. Luke 14:13 etc is a starting point.  Better still, an awful lot of disabled people really can repay you - in so many ways.  As leaders, prayer partners, wise counsel, problem solvers, many with skills and patience aplenty if allowed to share them.  I'd recommend the work of the L'Arche communities for how much that shared partnership with us can be a blessing for everyone involved, once we stop thinking about 'cost' and 'burden'. 

Take that opportunity to listen, to learn, to share.

Thank you for reading.  And a big thank you to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Katharine and Ellie, as well as to all those in various groups nationally - Inclusive Church, St Martin in the Fields, etc - who are part of these conversations and part of a renewal of love and respect for disabled and neurodivergent people,  in all our diversity.




   

Roundabout Hypothesis - a Guest Blog by Chris Memmott

Hi.  I'm Chris, and I work as an autism Associate for NDTi, and with NHS teams as an Expert by Experience for care and treatment reviews.  After two years of Degree level studies in Psychology & Counselling, I also spent almost two years working with autistic young people in schools. My work includes respite care, training, conference speaking, environmental accessibility, and writing.

As we know, there are a lot of theories about autism.  We also know that none of them really explain it, as yet. I have major sensory processing challenges.  My brain takes in too much information from the world around me.  When I'm training people, I explain it as 'Roundabout Hypothesis'.  Let me explain:

The picture shows a roundabout.  There isn't a lot of traffic on it.  Incoming traffic has room to think, to plan, and to get round the roundabout without too much hassle.

Most human brains work the same way.  There's incoming information from sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, hunger, thirst, balance, etc etc.  The brain accepts it, processes what it needs, and sends it round the brain's 'roundabout' and heads it in the right direction.  It works well, and can keep working for hours.

But, what about if your brain takes in too much information at once?  The second photo shows a roundabout where there's too much traffic happening from all directions.  Gridlock.  Now, nothing can get through.  (Well, maybe cyclists.  They can always get through somehow.)  But the rest of us, stuck, overheating, beeping horns or collapsed in a heap of despair, going nowhere.  Some autistic brains take in so much information that they can't get any of it processed and sent on its way.

When it happens, our brains simply have to wait for the 'traffic' to clear.  Just adding more traffic to it won't work.  More 'traffic' might be chatting with us, or trying to put a hand on a shoulder without our consent.  Or shouting at us.  Or making us stay in a busy, noisy place where the queue of 'traffic' waiting for our brains to process it just gets longer, and longer.  It might be more 'traffic' from our brain trying to work out how to speak, or how to understand non-literal language.

We need the traffic to stop arriving.  Noise cancelling headphones help me.  Sunglasses help, too.  A quiet room without bright artificial lighting also helps.  Wearing comfortable clothes so that there's isn't a constant traffic jam from the, for example, 'Your socks are hurting you' lane. 

Find out what helps us reduce the 'traffic'.

Specialist interests and hobbies are normally a motorway within autistic brains, and some time with these is often a very good way to let that gridlock clear.  Rather than seeing these as a 'restricted, repetitive' thing, see them instead as a vital part of autistic processing, learning and thriving.

It makes sense to me. I hope it helps you.

See also Monotropism theory that discusses more about that focus and its purposes, with thanks to Dr Dinah Murray's work & further development by Fergus Murray. 
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-32/august-2019/me-and-monotropism-unified-theory-autism

Update 2021:
Other work by Chris Memmott and teams

It's Not Rocket Science report commissioned by CAMHS, looking at the built environment in hospitals and how it can be improved for autistic young people.

Housing and autistic people commissioned by the Local Government Association, looking at how to ensure that housing meets the needs of autistic individuals.

Autism and Being a Responsible Citizen

The picture shows a group of people. Various ages, genders, ethnicities. It represents any group of autistic people in this example.

You may have been expecting a younger boy, with a rather sullen expression and a tendency to play computers and be wildly behaved, or geeky?  Or a teenager or young adult of similar type?  Yes, Society invented a myth about what autism looks like.

It also invented myths about how responsible we are as fellow inhabitants of this beautiful earth.

We see it mirrored in some press and web reporting.  The stereotypical male is produced. 

 We will be told that he is a tragedy, or a criminal.  Well, unless he has heroically overcome these mythical only-two-states-available, and is now a genius or an inspiration.

It is as bizarre as imagining that all the people in that photo were just like that.

Autistic people are not aliens. We are people. People of all kinds. All genders. All ages. All intelligence levels. All backgrounds. All faiths and no faith.  Just like other people... and we are also autistic . Autism is a different social communication method, a different logic based understanding of the world. Often hugely creative and great seekers of social justice and fairness, most are desperate to follow rules and get things right.  Our brains take in and process too much information from the world around us. Sometimes that is a beautiful thing to experience. Sometimes intensely painful if we are not able to recover between sensory overloads. Nothing whatsoever in the diagnostic lists links to crime.

Some autistic people end up in trouble with the law. I and my fellow trainers have had the honour of training hundreds of Police, Court Judges and similar, for many years. We have had endless conversations with them, and with autistic people who have ended up a encountering the criminal justice system.

Nearly all such autistic people are victims. Targeted for sexual assault, for fraud, for stalking, for bullying, for every crime imaginable.

Some autistic people are wrongly arrested for behaving in erratic ways during a brain event, which is not a criminal act.

Some are wrongly arrested because their behaviour looked criminal, but was actually just autistic , e.g. using touch to find out who a person is. Why use touch? Because some of us are faceblind and cannot see faces, so while young, may have attempted to feel who it was.  As a Blind child would. Some may have mistaken a social rule, and been then accused of stalking. Various examples of mistakes exist. Some utterly tragic.

Some are actual criminals. No more likely than is the case for others. We know this from good research. Research that is there for all to see.

So, what is happening when we see report after report in some places, linking us with crime? 

I do not know. But I do know that e.g. gay people also can face unwarranted accusations of general criminality. I know that some People of Colour face such accusations also. For many years’ women were seen as too hysterical and incompetent to hold important roles. As a society, we have accused all sorts of groups of hugely unfair things over the years. Different? You must be a criminal...

Well, no. Actual criminals are highly unlikely to be autistic.

It is time to acknowledge that most autistic people are responsible, gentle, sensible people who exist peacefully and lawfully amongst us. Many are people of the highest integrity. All are worthy of a place in a world, free of false stigma. Bringing caring, friendship, passionate expertise, honesty of expression, and diligence. 

Thank you for reading.

Autism: No, we're not stalkers, dear Church.

A few years ago, I was stalked.  It went on for some two years, and, at the end of it, there was Police involvement.  It was an horrific experience, and not one I would recommend to anyone.  My car was nearly forced off the road.  I was pursued by the person and their friends to such a degree that I had to run from them.  At one stage, when I was in a secure room, whilst security services dealt with the situation, I made a decision that no person should ever, every have to experience stalking.

I worked tirelessly for charities, ensuring safety for victims.  Listening carefully in support groups.  Working with people to get them to justice and peace at last.  Taking part in national research.  Promoting safety resources.

I opened a publication for the Church of England.  In it, an article about how some people in communities stalk church leaders.  I felt that immediate empathy, that concern for them.  I knew what it was like to have to live in that kind of way, always checking carefully before you are able to go anywhere, or do anything.  Having to be concerned about every silent phone call, every time the person is caught outside your house when they had no business being there.  The hate message, the anger, the destruction.

But then....

....then I saw that one of the key things for this was allegedly being autistic.  That autistic people (Asperger Syndrome) meant someone was likely to be a stalker.  And... it was like the world stopped for a moment, in horror.

You see, I'm autistic.  So are my lovely family.  So are many of my friends, and colleagues.  So are quite a few of my Clergyfriends, and my companions and fellow workers in all the church work I do.   In the charity work I do, there are my lovely autistic fellow leaders.  In the world of academia and conferences, so many valued autistic speakers, trainers, writers, authors, poets.  Every single one of them working towards peace, towards respect, towards collaborative caring and good outcomes.

I wrote the national guidelines for welcoming autistic people to church.  I'm no stranger to church life and how autistic people can fit within it. Nor to experiencing some of the strange myths around autism, based on the behaviour of a handful of young boys who had multiple disabilities or other conditions that affected judgement and control.

So, we'd better see if there's any actual evidence to support this strange idea that Clergy should fear autistic people.

Firstly, we know from robust evidence that autistic people are, by a huge majority, the victims of crime, including being victims of stalkers and every other kind of predator out there.  Most of the two million of us in the UK have experienced crime of some sort against us.  3 out of every 10 autistic women have been raped.  Most of us have responded only with love and forgiveness, with social action and good solutions.  It's been a pleasure to work with the Police for some years, as a member of the external training team.  We know that very few autistic people are criminals, although some are turned into 'stooges', doing the bidding of manipulative others who get them to do criminal things without realising it's criminal.  That's not malice by us - it's a brain that may assume that people are telling us the truth. A vulnerability, not a criminal mindset.  Are some autistic people also criminals?  Yes.  So are some people with size 6 feet, and some people with short hair.  Having size 6 feet does not make you a criminal.  Nor does being autistic.

Generalising:

We know that autism is a communication difference.  We use social communication differently, and find it very hard to interpret subtle signalling from non-autistic others, so need really clear instructions from non-autistic people.  We are often effectively 'blind' to subtle hints to  leave someone alone, or to stop talking.  That isn't malice, any more than it would be if we were Blind or Deaf. and missed the cues that way.

We also, as a people, tend to communicate a lot of information, and will happily repeat it until the other person signals that they have understood.  In our own culture, this often is polite, and expected.  It is not a sign of malice.  Different cultures across the world have their own set of 'social rules' about what is too much, or too little, communication.

We also, as a people, tend to want to know a lot about someone.  Not in a stalkerish way, but because we're genuinely curious.  And may genuinely, within our own culture, expect that the information-gathering is a good thing.  This is sometimes misinterpreted as 'obsession'unfortunately.  If one is not able to see a person's face clearly (because many of us are faceblind, and read face clues differently), trying to get clues about what the person thinks of us is very hard.  Finding out information is a way to fill that gap, to prepare ourselves for possible conversation, not malice.

I then tried searching for this data on how many autistic people are stalkers.  Given the research I do, I assumed that this would be easy to find.  After all, if we have professionals claiming we're this bizarre risk to the UK's humanity (er, all 2 million of us?), they must have seen that robust data showing the statistics, yes?

Still searching.  

I can find a few vague references from stuff a long time ago.  From before we even knew what autism is, on the modern DSM V understanding.  Before we even really knew that half of autistic people are not male, that most are not young.  Before we knew that autism wasn't anything to do with 'bad behaviour', or lack of empathy.

 I can't find data showing  that autistic people are more likely to be stalkers, anywhere.  I can find good articles from the CPS and from researchers showing groups of people who are likely to be stalkers. None of those groups are autistic people. This academic paper for example  or https://victimsofcrime.org/docs/default-source/src/mohandie-k-meloy-r-green-mcgowan-m-_-williams-j-2005.pdf?sfvrsn=2 which has no mention of autism.  What we do have is mention of some stalkers having personality disorders or some forms of mental health conditions.  Autism, as I am sure we know, is not a mental health condition, nor a personality disorder.  In fact, research has shown that having autism is generally a protective factor against crime, not a cause of it.

In that newspaper, the quote by a healthcare provider about autism and stalking seems to relate to a quote by one of their colleagues in The Sun newspaper in 2016.  That was, in turn, based on a quote in a book in 2002, well before the modern understanding of autism.  And without a hint of actual research to back it up.

It's quite something to have your church leaders, from the place you trust and respect, looking at an article suggesting that I'm some sort of threat to them.  That my family might be.  That my friends and companions, colleagues and fellow researchers might be.  It is a great sadness, given that the entirety of the argument appears to have been invented.  We are no more likely to be criminals than anyone else around you.

I would love a world where we learned that communicating differently is not a sign of malice.

I would love a world where we learned to honour and respect difference, rather than assume that different = monster.

And I would love to pick up a church publication and read about the realities of autism, not myths and overblown horror stories.

Our autistic children are going to enter a world where their average life expectancy is 54, thanks to the level of poverty, bullying, crime, lack of access, and hate that they will experience.
They will face a life where they have a nine times greater risk of taking their own lives, because of that stress.
They will endure the humiliation of being described over and over again as things they are not.
And on top of that, feared in church, when they go in to share fellowship and hope with other Christians?

If we, as fellow Christians, want this for autistic people, how far from the love of Jesus have we strayed?  It is heartbreaking.

Find out about us.  Because we're already your friends, and already sharing life with you, in peace.